Dovetailing on the previous post, Greetings from the Friend Zone, comes “The Significance of Frogs”. Those who follow my Facebook feed know that I have been coming across random frogs recently in my life. To the single woman, frogs are a reminder of the classic tale, The Frog Prince. Kiss the frog and all your dreams come true. A concept almost every girl grows up with.
Seeing frogs has made me think of love and wondering if there isn’t a hidden meaning somewhere that I haven’t seen before. Should I look at someone with different eyes? Or should I just enjoy the beach here in the Friend Zone?
And hardest of all, what is my belief in love now?
After my divorce three years ago, I found that every concept of love that I believed in was totally shattered. Happily ever after. Till death do us part. For better or worse. All undone and unraveled, leaving me with a broken heart and a new start. I was young when I fell in love and got married. Now I am mid-thirties, a woman and responsible adult, and definitely not the same person. To my core, I am an optimist and believe in good things to come in life. No matter what happens to me, I probably will always be that way.
But can I truly let myself believe in fairy tale love again? My view has gotten a bit “practical”. Perhaps it is just caution now that I know what is at stake. Since the divorce, having friends of my own has come to mean the world to me. When I first chose the man I loved over my best friend, I lost her and my other best friend. I did not have very many friends when I was married, except for those who were dear friends of my ex. I lost them all too in the divorce, it seems. I especially miss my former brother-in-law.
If I come across the choice now – risk the friendships I have for something unknown – I don’t quite know what I would choose. I don’t want to lose any of my friends again. Now that I seem to have developed feelings for one, I am rather pissed off at myself for complicating things. No way in hell I am going to act on them. Like a bad cold, I just need to wait for the sickness to run its course. Why? The fairy tales do not exist for me, no matter how many frogs jump in my path. No matter how much I may secretly still want them to exist.
This is not to say that I don’t want a deep and lasting love. I believe I will have love again someday too. That is the optimist in me. But what makes up Prince Charming isn’t the same as when I was young and naive. Criteria has definitely changed and is nothing that can be seen on the surface. No “bad boys” or “assholes”. That hold ZERO interest to me. I have definitely come to appreciate true kindness, self-awareness, and self-control above all things. If your core is rotten, it doesn’t matter how shiny your outside is.
The frogs will probably go into hiding now because they are cold-blooded amphibians and winter is coming. (Seriously, no one can say that line now without thinking of Game of Thrones). I have so much in my life to look forward to and romance may or may not be one of them now. If it works out so, then that is one thing. I will welcome and enjoy it. But there are many kinds of love to live for. The beauty of the world. The joy of writing. My dogs. My job (yes, I even love my job). Family. Friends.
I still don’t know the answers to my own questions on love anymore. Rescuing a frog in a warehouse does not mean I should kiss it. It just means that I love nature’s creatures and wanted it out of harms way. Love has many, many levels and forms. Why do we get hung up on focusing on only the fairy tale love?
Edit to add: Don’t worry. If you think this post is about you, it’s not. Breathe easy. 🙂